"Should I change the pet food?"
There was still half a bag left, but I stared blankly at the pet food in the cupboard. Maybe I should try mixing it with the new food half-and-half. I’ll stop by the pet shop tomorrow.
I had looked up a few pet foods online that were both palatable and nutritious, saving them in my phone’s memo app.
The members of the pet lovers’ forum often got into heated debates over trivial matters, but they were all veteran owners with expert-level knowledge of dogs.
When I came across a post listing the pros and cons of different brands, I couldn’t help but clap in admiration. Joining that forum was definitely the right decision.
Then, suddenly, my gaze shifted toward the sink under the cupboard. It was full of unwashed dishes.
For the past few days, I had been so focused on taking care of Raum that I hadn't done any housework. Since today was also the designated recycling day, I decided to do the laundry and take out the trash while I was at it. Rolling up my sleeves, I got to work.
"I guess feeding Raum on time is out of the question today too…"
After opening the window for ventilation, I started with the dishes. I scrubbed the bathroom floor until it shone, vacuumed, emptied the fridge, and wiped down every surface.
Before I knew it, a mountain of trash had piled up by the front door, looking like a giant boulder had been left there.
"How does this much trash even fit in a tiny place like this?"
It almost felt like someone had snuck in and dumped their garbage in my house. But upon closer inspection, it was all mine.
There was too much to take out in one trip, so I propped the door open and made three separate runs. Even though the night air was chilly, sweat beaded on my forehead.
Seeing the empty trash bin and the now-spotless house filled me with satisfaction. The only thing left dirty was me, covered in dust and grime from cleaning.
I pulled off my socks and headed toward the bathroom, ready for a shower. But then, something felt off.
The house was eerily quiet. Too quiet.
Only my footsteps and breathing echoed through the space. That wasn’t normal. The little black furball that usually followed me around like a duckling was nowhere in sight.
"Raum?"
I called out, but only silence answered me.
"Raum?"
I completely forgot about showering and ran around the house, stirring up dust after all that cleaning. The bed, the sofa, under the table, no matter where I looked, Raum was nowhere to be found.
He was such a big dog that there weren’t many places in this tiny home for him to hide.
A chilling thought crawled up my spine and settled in my head.
The front door, I had left it open for a while while taking out the trash. No way.
My body moved before I could think. I dashed outside and searched every dark alley, barely illuminated by the dim glow of the streetlights. My voice rang through the cold night air as I called out desperately.
"Raum!"
I was in full panic mode. My vision blurred, my breathing grew erratic even though I wasn’t running. I searched the recycling station I had just been to, the house where I first found him, even all the way to the main street but there was no sign of Raum.
What if something happened to him in this chilly weather? What if he unknowingly ran across the road and got hit by a car? What if he bit a stranger out of fear?
I could already see tomorrow’s headlines: "Large Dog Without a Muzzle Attacks Another Person."
The thought of someone getting hurt, of being lumped in with irresponsible large-dog owners who get blamed for everything, filled me with guilt.
I wouldn’t even be able to lift my head. What if a petition demanding Raum's euthanasia reached 200,000 signatures...
This is my fault. All my fault.
"Raum! Raum!!"
Tears blurred my already darkened vision. A suffocating fear gripped my heart, what if I never found him again? How was I supposed to go on without him? I should have changed his food sooner.
Or maybe this house was too cramped for him. I shouldn’t have left him alone when he was sick just to go to work. What was so important about work that I abandoned my ailing dog? I should have stayed by his side no matter what.
Regret weighed heavily on my shoulders.
"Raum! Where are you... I must be crazy. Raum!"
How long had I been screaming his name? Maybe this was the first time in my life I had ever cried out so desperately. My voice sliced through the dark night, calling for the one I was terrified of losing.
"Ahh!"
I was running blindly when something suddenly caught my foot. I tripped forward, hitting the ground hard. I barely managed to brace myself, saving my face from impact, but my toes and knees throbbed from the fall.
If just this little fall hurt so much, how much pain must Raum have endured, unable to even open his eyes properly? He must have left because I failed to care for him properly.
I was pathetic. Even if the whole world condemned me, I had no right to complain.
"But if you disappear so suddenly… I’ll be too worried."
Wiping away my falling tears, I pushed myself up.
And at that moment, like a miracle, I saw a black figure emerge under the glow of a streetlight.
Those golden eyes I had been searching for shone brightly in the darkness.
Oh, thank God. Thank you. Thank you.
"Raum!"
I spread my arms wide and ran toward him, only for him to bark loudly.
"Woof!"
It was such a powerful, commanding bark that it made me forget even my relief.
"What's wrong?"
Did he not even want me near him anymore? It felt like something in my heart was shattering into pieces. I wanted to collapse right there.
"Raum..."
I called his name softly, full of guilt.
And maybe, just maybe, he understood.
Raum stretched out his long legs and walked toward me.
"..."
"..."
We stood there, quietly looking at each other for a long moment. I hesitantly lifted my hand, slowly reaching for his sleek black head.
Thankfully… He didn’t pull away.
Encouraged, I gently stroked his fur.
"If you don’t hate me… then don’t run away again."
"..."
"Do you know how scared I was, thinking you had disappeared?"
Tears streamed down my face like a broken faucet. It felt like I was advertising to the world just how unreliable of an owner I was.
I bit my lower lip and tried to steady my breathing, but it was all in vain. All I managed to do was sniffle pathetically.
"Raum, I thought something terrible had happened to you... I was so-"
My words choked in my throat as a sob threatened to burst out. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to continue.
"I was so worried. I promise I’ll take better care of you, so stay with me. Don’t go anywhere. Let’s live together forever, okay?"
I wrapped my arms around Raum's face, holding him tightly.
"I was the one who found you. I’m your owner. I’ll take responsibility for you for life. I’ll do my best. Sometimes, I might rush things and annoy you, but I’ll do my best as your owner. So… stay with me. For a long, long time. Forever."
Tears soaked into his fur as I begged.
Raum shook his head lightly. Before I could even process what that meant, I suddenly felt something damp touch my foot.
"Wait, Raum!
He had lowered his body and placed his paw over the top of my foot. Only then did I realize I was barefoot.
"That’s dirty, don’t do that. Wait, don’t lick it! Hey, I said no!"
I tried to push his massive body away, but I was the one who ended up losing balance. Raum simply stared up at me, as if wondering why I wasn’t taking my foot away.
"That’s dirty. Ugh, don’t come closer! Fine, fine. Let’s just go home first. Once we’re home, you can do whatever you want, okay?"
Raum, who had been stepping toward me, finally stopped. When I reached out, he instinctively pressed his forehead against my palm, rubbing against it.
The soft, velvety fur wrapped around my fingers, filling my heart with a warmth and contentment beyond words. I let out a genuine, tear-streaked smile.
Raum nuzzled against me, then gently took my sleeve in his mouth and gave it a small tug.
"...Are you asking me to get on your back?"
That couldn’t be it. But then, Raum turned and lowered his body in front of me, as if offering me a ride.
"What am I, some kind of princess? I’m not riding you."
At my refusal, he let out a loud woof! woof! as if trying to wake up the entire neighborhood.
Panicking, I quickly cradled his face and stroked his fur.
"Please, don’t bark!"
"...Woof."
At my plea, he quieted down but only slightly.
"Still, I don’t want to ride you. It feels like animal abuse."
But Raum stubbornly remained in place, presenting his back as if to say he wouldn’t move unless I got on.
Riding him was too much, though…
I hesitated for a long time behind him.
In the end, Raum won.
I was too worried about whether he had gotten hurt while wandering outside. That concern finally convinced my feet to move.
Standing still, I hadn’t realized just how much my toes hurt but every step sent a dull ache through them.
Clenching my teeth to hold back a pained sound, I slowly climbed onto Raum's back, straddling him like a horse.
The moment he felt my weight, he stretched out his legs and stood up.
"Whoa!"
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