On the way home after closing the café, I noticed that the supermarket was still open. I had recently done my grocery shopping, so I didn’t really need any essentials.
"Maybe I should buy a toy..."
Since Raum wasn’t keen on going for walks, I figured I needed to help him relieve his stress through height-related activities.
While researching various options, I came across something called a tug toy. Apparently, when a dog bites the toy, the owner pulls it back and forth to engage them in play.
Without hesitation, I stepped into the store and picked up a rope-like toy woven in pink and white. Right next to it, I impulsively grabbed a 'North Walk Blanket,' which had 'Popular Item' written in bold red letters.
My pace quickened on the way home, I couldn’t wait to show Raum his new toy.
As soon as I punched in the passcode and entered, Raum, who usually didn’t care whether I came home or not, actually came to greet me at the front door today. Feeling grateful, I crouched down and pulled his head into a hug.
"Raum, have you been well? You missed me, didn’t you?"
After planting a small kiss on his forehead, I moved to the living room. As soon as I sat on the sofa, Raum lay down in front of me, resting his belly on the floor.
"Guess what I bought today?"
His golden eyes turned toward me, but his gaze was indifferent, as if he wasn’t curious at all. I exaggerated my excitement even more.
"Tada! It’s a toy! Isn’t it amazing? You must be dying to sink your teeth into it!"
As expected... My indifferent Raum took one look at the toy, stood up, and strolled off into the room. I trailed behind him.
"Raum, take a closer look! Don’t you want to chew on it? Oh, I see... Then how about this? It’s a nose-work blanket! I can hide treats in here, and you can sniff them out, it’ll be so much fun, right?"
Raum completely ignored me.
"Seriously? Other dogs go crazy for this kind of thing, but why are you like this?"
The more I looked at him, the more unique he seemed. Raum sprawled on my bed as if it were his own. I wrapped my arms around him.
"I’m not saying I don’t like you, but... You’re not going for walks, and you’re not playing either. I’m just worried that you might not be feeling well."
Completely oblivious to my concerns, Raum treated the toy like garbage, not even sparing it a glance.
But I wasn’t about to give up. I firmly believed that if he played with it even once, he might change his mind. So, for days, I persistently tried to get him interested in the toy.
Eventually, Raum let out a loud bark at me. By then, his weight had exceeded 40 kilograms, and his bark was so powerful that a ringing noise filled my ears.
As I grabbed my ears and winced, Raum visibly panicked. Then, as if apologizing, he carefully licked my ear with his tongue.
This was it. I smirked mischievously.
The ringing in my ears subsided quickly, but I kept pretending to be in pain.
"Oh no, my ear... Raum, you hurt my ear. It really hurts..."
Whimper... Whimper...
My face was now drenched in Raum's drool. Okay, enough. I wiped my drool-covered face with the back of my hand and picked up the toy again.
"If Raum plays tug with me, my ear will feel all better."
Raum, who had been drooping his ears in guilt, flinched.
"Hmm? Raum?"
A subtle battle of wits began between us. We locked eyes, tension thick in the air. I shook the toy determinedly, refusing to back down.
In the end, Raum was the first to look away. Yes! Victory was mine. Maybe it wasn’t ideal to play dominance games with a dog, but at this moment, it felt like an irreplaceable triumph.
"Come on, bite it."
Reluctantly, Raum grabbed the end of the toy with his teeth. His sharp fangs became visible, looking fierce. Then, with one swift motion, the sturdy rope toy was completely shredded.
...
Raum shook his head and tossed the ruined toy away like prey he had just hunted. In mere seconds, the toy lay lifeless on the floor.
"...This wasn’t how it was supposed to go."
With his long legs moving gracefully, Raum disappeared into his room.
And just like that, the fate of the tug toy ended in a tragic disaster.
---
It had already been two months since I started living with Raum. The thick padded coat that had been like a second skin was now pushed deep into the closet, and the season of cherry blossoms fluttering through the streets had arrived.
"Unnie, your phone is ringing."
"Ah. Okay."
I paused my order placement and checked my phone. The moment I saw the caller ID, I let out a long sigh. Should I just not answer?
I hesitated briefly, but I knew that ignoring the call now would only cause more trouble later. With no other choice, I picked up.
"Hey, Mom."
"Is that how you answer the phone? Hey, Mom? You never call until I do! Are you planning to cut ties with me completely?"
I felt an instant wave of exhaustion and massaged the space between my brows.
"I've just been busy. What's the matter?"
"Excuses, excuses. I heard from Jintae that you picked up a stray dog? Do I have to hear about my own daughter from Jintae? Thank goodness he keeps me updated!"
Frustration flared up inside me. I ran a rough hand through my ponytail but kept my tone as neutral as possible.
"Yeah, it just kind of happened."
"Get rid of it immediately! You can barely support yourself, and now you’re taking care of a dog?"
Talking with Mom never went anywhere. Saying something like, "How could I abandon a dog?" would only lead to a bigger fight.
"I’ll handle it. Anyway, why did you call? Did something happen to Oppa?"
I never wanted to bring up my brother first, but it was the only way to change the subject. As expected, my mom's voice instantly softened.
"Wow, you’re actually worried about your brother? What a surprise."
I didn’t argue.
"Your brother is moving to Seoul."
"What?!"
I accidentally raised my voice. I had left for Seoul to escape my mom, dad, grandfather, and most of all, my brother.
If he moved here, all my efforts would be in vain. My family would visit constantly, and on the days they couldn’t, they’d expect me to take care of him. It was inevitable.
"Why are you so surprised?"
"It’s just sudden. You just sent him money for cram school. Why move to Seoul now? There’s still time before his exam."
"Apparently, there’s a huge difference between studying in Seoul and in the countryside. The level of instructors is completely different. This is his last chance, after all."
That same guy who spends all his time at PC cafes?
"So?"
"So, we already got him a place in Seoul. You should help him move in and check in on him from time to time. Make sure he’s eating properly."
I was stunned at my parents’ decisiveness. The same parents who cut off my financial support the moment I turned twenty were now securing an apartment for my brother in Seoul.
When we were kids, the gap between my brother’s and my allowances had always been significant.
"So when is he moving?"
"Early next month."
"Next month?!"
I lost control of my voice again, and naturally, my mother’s voice grew even louder in response.
"Why are you so shocked? Of course, he needs to move ASAP!"
My head started throbbing. I pulled my phone away and exhaled a deep, silent sigh. After calming my irritation, I held the phone firmly again.
"That’s barely a month away. How are you finding a place so quickly? Isn’t it rushed?"
"He needs to start studying in Seoul as soon as possible."
"It’s not like he has to study in Seoul. Wouldn’t it be better to take time finding a good apartment and school?"
"He says he can’t focus in his current environment. We’ve already picked out a reputable academy in Seoul. Housing moves fast in Gangnam, so we need to secure a place quickly. We even found a decent apartment for a jeonse lease."
"Gangnam?"
I scoffed.
They’d always scrutinized how I spent every penny, but now they were getting my brother a jeonse lease in Gangnam?
I had always known that I was treated differently from my brother. It had been obvious from the moment my childhood memories began.
But recognizing it and getting used to it were two different things.
I had long stopped feeling bitter or upset about it, but as I grew older, the scale of favoritism only became more blatant.
Our family wasn’t exactly wealthy, but we weren’t struggling either. My father owned a barbecue restaurant with four locations.
Still, I had always received less allowance than my friends, had never owned trendy clothes or bags, and any love my family had to give had been directed solely at my brother.
After entering university, I could no longer receive even a single bill from my parents.
At that time, I juggled part-time jobs, work-study scholarships, and academic scholarships, struggling to make ends meet. Fortunately, right after graduation, I managed to secure a job at a company near my home.
However, beyond just withholding affection, my family’s expectation that I should give them what little I had left me feeling disillusioned. Eventually, I decided to quit.
After only eight months of working, I left my job without gaining much experience or receiving any severance pay.
I fled to Seoul with no plan, using the savings I had painstakingly set aside since my university days and taking out a bank loan.
With that, I barely managed to secure a cheap rental in a neighborhood known for its poor reputation.
Having spent all my savings on moving, I quickly applied for a part-time job at the café where I currently work.
The owner was kind, and I got along well with my coworkers. Without any grand ambitions, I simply focused on my job, and before I knew it, I was promoted to manager.
My mother disapproved of me working at a café. She thought it was embarrassing for someone with a college degree to be working a part-time job.
She nagged me daily, telling me to quit immediately, yet at the same time, she never stopped asking me to send money for my brother’s academy fees or allowance.
One of the reasons I stayed at the café for so long was not just the decent work environment but also a subtle act of rebellion against my mother.
Over the years, minimum wage increased, and my manager salary went up as well. However, with loan payments, utility bills, phone bills, insurance, and living expenses, plus the automatic transfers for my savings, there was barely anything left.
And yet, my family constantly drained what little remained, demanding I show my sincerity by supporting my brother’s studies. My already meager bank balance was squeezed dry like a melted ice pop.
And now, they were giving my brother a rental in Gangnam. At this point, it wasn’t just ridiculous, it was enough to make me curse out loud.
"His academy is near Gangnam, apparently. I’ll call you when we go up to Seoul. Grandpa is coming too, so our whole family can finally have a meal together."
Hearing this, I ran a hand over my face in despair. I had no desire to be there, standing in a room with three metaphorical guns pointed at me.
Just imagining it made it hard to breathe. If the food I was eating were poisoned, I would probably think, That’s for the best, at least I could just die and be done with it.
"I don’t think I’ll be able to make it because of work at the café."
"That damned café! What’s so important about it?! Family comes first! Your grandpa is coming too, don’t you have any shame?!"
"Sorry. Instead, I’ll send some money so Grandpa can have a nice meal."
At the mention of money, my mother’s sharp tone softened immediately.
"Tsk, fine. But send it to your brother’s account."
Her response, cutting off the conversation as soon as money was involved, was just so typical of her. I didn’t feel sad about it. If anything, I found it convenient that my mother was so predictable.
"Got it. I need to clock in now, so I’ll hang up."
"You don’t even seem that busy. And call your dad more often."
"Okay… I’m hanging up now."
I slammed my phone down on the table hard enough to make a loud thud. That one phone call had completely drained me.
I sat there for a long time, holding my head in my hands. As time passed, the heat from my frustration cooled down, leaving behind neither anger nor disappointment, just a hollow emptiness.
"Sigh… I miss Raum."
If I could hug that soft, warm little thing and shower it with a hundred kisses, maybe, just maybe, this emptiness in my chest would be filled again.
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